the last five years

the title of this blog is not only the name of a fabulous musical on my must-see-before-i-die list, but its also a great topic of discussion my sweet friend Jessica and I had the other night.

think back to where you were five years ago. For me, I was a baby freshman in high school with blonde highlights and braces. It was a great look for me, I know. And if you had asked where I saw myself in five years I would have told you I saw myself going to Harding University, wanting to become a photographer, and in a serious relationship about to be engaged.

Um what?

And that was just five years ago! Look at how much life has changed! I'm now a sophomore in college (brace-less and highlight-less thank goodness!) I'm not at Harding, I'm not studying photography, and I'm far far away from being engaged.

It's crazy how much your plans for life can change in just a period of a few years. And its just crazy how much I've changed as a person over the last five years. I've learned so much, done so much, and become so much over the past five years.

And I can't begin to imagine what my life will be like five years from now. Sure I have a nice life plan laid out for the next five years consisting of graduating and becoming a kindergarten teacher in a lovely little suburb of Houston or the metroplex, but who knows? I could be doing something completely different. And that is so cool. Ultimately it's not my decision at all where I am in the next five years. I can plan and make lists all I want.. but it's all in God's hands. My prayer recently has been for God to just send me somewhere. Do something with my life. Use me in some way to bring HIM the glory. If thats in a kindergarten classroom in suburbia with a husband and 2.5 kids- wonderful. But if not, I'm excited for that too. I'm just ready to see what God has in store for the next 5 years!

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

Provers 16:9

On another note. I'm thinking about making blogging a regular thing. Like once a week, you can expect a blog from me. It may not always be this wonderfully though provoking or deep (please laugh at that). But just fill you in on my life. Current things I'm loving or stressing over. Or just whatever is on my mind, which usually isn't much. We'll see how long I actually stick with this. My hopes aren't extremely high.

But to start, my current obsession is Adele's new cd. I know its been out for a month of so, but it is just so darn good. Download it. Love it. Sing along in the shower to it.. I surely do.

See you this time next week?

xoxo

God Makes No Mistakes

Oh hello lonely and deserted blog..

I wish I could explain to you how ridiculous life has been lately. School has become my life (nerd) and when I'm not writing a lesson plan or doing a big project, I'm catching up on sleep (which is ALWAYS in shortage). But I'm writing now, and will be a lot soon. I just have lots of ideas all in my head that need to be written down! But this is just going to be a quick little post about something on my heart.

This weekend I went to fort worth with my roommates (morgan and katherine) because katherine's sister is having a BABY and we went to the baby shower (awwwww). We spent most of the weekend giggling, sleeping, and of course lots of shopping. It was so nice to get away from a-town for the weekend and just chill. This morning we went to church at North Richland Hills.. man that church gets it.

The lesson this morning as about judging people. And I will be the first to say, I am so quick to judge any and everyone. But seriously- who am I to judge any single person on the face of this earth. Not only to I not know their entire back story, but I am just as flawed and screwed up as anybody. Jesus' message isn't about judgment- it's about love.

Morgan and I got coffee tonight and spent a lot of the time talk about the message. So often we just sit in the campus center critiquing outfits and talking about who did what this weekend. And goodness gracious- where do we get off saying stuff like that? I am no better than anyone standing on a street corner or smoking a joint. That's extreme, but it's real.

Woah. Sorry about the rant.. but it was just something that needed to be said. Have a blessed week!

xoxo

i have never

i have the flu. for real. the flu. stuffy nose, fever, horrible cough, headache, achy body FLU. So currently I'm sitting on my couch, not in class, resting and watching a marathon of all of the greatest chick flicks known to man, or woman rather. (Notting Hill, Love Actually, The Holiday, You've Got Mail.. you get the picture). And though it's nice to be on date with Hugh Grant rather than in class, I'm dreading the mountains of make up work I will be coming back to.

But you wanna know the worst part of having the flu? I've never had it before. Now normally this would be cause for celebration- I've never had the flu until my sophomore year of college? yay! How lucky I am to have a healthy immune system! But it's frustrating, too. You know the game "I Have Never" where you hold up 10 fingers and go around in a circle and say something you haven't done, and if you have done it, you put a finger down? (yes, I know this is a drinking game as well.. but I don't do that..) Well "i have never had the flu" was ALWAYS the card I played! EVERYONE has had the flu, and that was always sure to get someone out. Well gosh darn it, I can't say that anymore.

Okay, so maybe that's a little dramatic. I do feel very blessed that my immune system has held up until now.

Well, I'm off. Time for another nap.. prayers for fast healing would be greatly appreciated! :)

my hot valentines date: campbells and cough syrup

dancing dirt into the snow

Today is Saturday. The last time I went to class was Monday.MONDAY! We've had the past four days off from school because of SNOW. How fun is that? I think last year we had two snow days, but they were a couple of weeks apart. This year we've had a whole week of it! It has been so fun being able to just relax and look out the window to pretty things like this:

But the snow has definitely had some drawbacks. Since it hasn't gotten above freezing here, none of the snow has been able to melt. So, we've been stuck inside for the past few days. Can you say cabin fever!? I've watched more movies this week than I have in a looong time. (I think the count so far is 9!)

None the less, I LOVE the snow. It's so beautiful on the ground, and it feels AMAZING outside. Seriously, I think I was made to live somewhere up north instead of hot and humid Houston.

That's all I really wanted to say.. Not much has been going on due to the snowpocalypse. Sing song is really started to come together, and I can't wait for the show! School is going well.. the break this week was definitely needed though. I'm still getting used to balancing my time with my workload. I'm definitely read for classes to start up again.. not because I'm excited for school work, but because I'm ready to see people and see other things besides my dorm room!

I Get A Little Bit Stronger

Well, I've finished my first week of second semester sophomore year! And what a week it was. This semester is going to be crazy, and exciting, and trying, and stressful to say the least.. but I'm ready for it. I'm taking 18 hours which makes me want to throw up just thinking about. But it's 18 hours of classes that I'm totally passionate about. Not like you care all that much but I'm taking: integrated math & science for preschool-2nd grade (try abbreviating that one to write in your planner..), early language and literacy, an intro to reading class that is totally going to kick my tush, art for elementary teachers (no judgements, no laughing.. it's not the blow off you think it is), introduction to special ed, and Christianity in Culture. All classes that I know I will learn SO much in.. but I will definitely be working hard. But that's part of growing up, right?

Now to add even more.. I'm doing sing song this year with the sophomore class! I am so excited.. we've had a couple rehearsals so far, and they have made me realize how much I really, really miss being in choir. Plus we are trying to deal with finding a house right now. I'm going to be living in a house next year.. how crazy is that? I'm not old enough to be doing things like renting houses and paying bills. I'm definitely still a little kid playing dress up.

But all of that adds up to one stressed-out little Courtney. And if you know me at all, you know I seem to worked up over the tiniest little details. So I'm already anticipating the amount of hair that I will pull out of my head this semester. But I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing..

I called my Mom wednesday night.. I was already overwhelmed by all of my classes and I just was freaking out about my workload and other stuff going on right now and she said to me "Courtney.. Remember, You are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing." And she's so right. I spent ALL last year freaking out about whether I was doing the right thing, or if I was following God's plan for me.. or just trying to figure out what that plan was. Well, I'm still not totally sure of what that plan is. But until I have a more definite answer, I know I'm doing the right thing for me. And through all of the craziness this semester holds, I just need to hold on to that.

ps. blog title is from the Country Strong soundtrack. If you haven't seen this movie GO. I'm obsessed!

happy hour hope

So last Sunday Rick preached about hope and having hope when there really isn't anything else to hold on to- which is such a great message, especially around this time of year. And as a church we are starting this new project where, when we're going through a drive through, ask to pay for the person's meal behind you and then have the waiter or whoever give them a card with Bammel's website and mission statement on it. And when this was first explained I was just like, great this is just another way to advertise Bammel, and I wasn't too keen on it. But when people go to the website there is supposed to be a link for people who have been given the cards. There it's supposed to have some little message of hope or something. Pretty neat deal.

So I hung out with Kelly today- which is always a good time. We've been best friends since we were in osh-kosh and we still haven't run out of things to talk and laugh about. At about 3:30 We decided we were craving some sonic happy hour. On our way there, I realized we needed to give out one of the Bammel cards (hence the extremely cheesy title of this blog). I didn't have one with me, but Kelly did. So we pulled through up to the drive thru and there wasn't anyone behind us to pay for. And by this time it's like 3:55.. So we decided to wait until right before happy hour was over and if no one came, then we would just move on. And literally at 3:58 a car pulled in behind us. So we got to pay for this guy's diet dr. pepper and give him one of the cards :) And it felt SO good! I have no idea who this guy was and he has no idea who we are, which is kind of beautiful about it. It's not about Kelly or me, or even Bammel. It's about giving a little bit of hope.

One another note- my winter break is finally drawing to a close! I'm going back to Abilene on Sunday and I'm so excited. You're completely going to judge me for this- but I'm so excited about my classes this semester! I officially got accepted into the teacher education program (ahhh!) so I'm finally beginning lots of coursework for my major. I'm so so so excited about it. I realize I'm a total nerd for saying that, but I don't even care. And I'm excited to be back with my roommate (Just one roommate :( B is leaving for a semester. But she's being a grown-up and I'm so very proud of her!) I'm not gonna lie, I'm going to miss being home! I've gotten so accustomed to staying up all night and sleeping all day- which is a horrible habit. And I love being home with my family. They will definitely be missed.

Sorry this was such a novel!

in a relationship

So tonight was Lifegroup at the precious Maddox house. I have absolutely loved having this on my Sunday nights over break. It's like a sweet little way to get my week started every Sunday night.. love it. Well, Matt came tonight and our lesson or discussion for tonight, was that we had to go around and say one thing we can be praying for to improve or resolve our relationship with God. I was amazed as everyone went around the circle that I could seriously apply every single thing to my life. Things like

-spending more time in the word

-spending more time in prayer

-being intentional with our relationships

-seeing people through God's eyes

-being a light to others

-putting God first

-having patience

-knowing that God is in control

...seriously. I need help with every single one of those! Before it was my turn to talk I honestly wasn't sure what I was going to say because I could think of SO many things I could to do to improve my relationship with the Lord. And that just bothers me so much. I am SUCH a perfectionist in a lot of aspects of my life. Seriously, ask my roommates. When it comes to school work, everything has to be in apple-pie order. but when it comes to my relationship with God- the MOST IMPORTANT part of my life, I'm not so serious. And that's pretty not okay. I'm supposed to have a relationship with him- and I think sometimes I view it as something much more distant than that. But being in a relationship requires work on both parts.. and trust me, God's sure doing his part. I'm just not always doing mine.

So this semester I am focusing on renewing and rebuilding that oh-so important relationship. Don't freak out, mom. School isn't taking a back-seat. I'm just going to do a LOT better job of being a part of my relationship with the Lord.

....one week until I'm back in Abilene and back to work!