land among the stars

I have an issue with making new years resolutions. People (myself included) make resolutions every year around this time and we almost expect them to be broken within 2 weeks of the new year. Or at least I'm that way. I don't know a single person who has kept a new years resolution all year long. so I'm not doing that this year- I'm making goals for 2011. There's a quote, "shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I've always applied this to mean- If you set a goal, you may or may not achieve it, but you'll at least accomplish something worthwhile. So, that's what I'm doing this year. I'm making goals for myself for 2011. I may or may not stick to or finish them, but hopefully some good will come of it. So without any further ado, my list of 11 goals for 2011. (get it.. 11 goals, 2011.. oh thats gold)

1. Spend more time reading my Bible

2. Spend more time in prayer

3. Learn to like brussel sprouts. I really can't stand anything about them. They smell awful, look awful, and i'm assuming taste awful as well. But they're good for me, so I'm going to like them. (positive thinking right?)

4. Correct people less. I'm a grammar/speech nazi. And I don't always filter when I should. I know being corrected is a pet peeve for a lot of people, so I'm going try to stop.

5. read 10 books. I realize that doesn't seem like a lot for an entire year, but I really don't read much and I realize I need to read a lot more often. Hopefully this is just a jumping off point.

6. Along with that, I want to read (or maybe complete??) the Harry Potter series. Go ahead and judge me. I haven't read a single book of the series, and with the influence the books have had on our society, I really should. (I haven't decided yet if the HP books will count towards my 10 I read this year yet..)

7. As cliche as it is, I want to drink less soda. (Roommates: we are doing this!)

8. Spend less money on myself and more on others in need. I can be so selfish and worldly. That's coming to an end.

9. Keep up my 4.0!

10. Get a job, both this semester and this summer (HOPEFULLY, i'll have my summer job back though!)

11. Let go and let God. I have a HUGE problem doing this! Seriously, I am way to controlling of my own life, and I don't know when I'll ever learn just to STOP. It's a goal.

So there it is, my goal list for 2011. You are all more than welcome (in fact, it would be appreciated if you would) to keep me accountable on these! I hope every has a safe and wonderful new years!

away in a manger

I don't really have a lot to say, mostly because it would sound cliche or corny. Today has been so wonderful- getting to spend time with my family is always wonderful, and I get to do it all over again tomorrow. Tons of christmas movie watching, delicious food eating, present opening, and laughing until we're crying all around. But of course today is even more special because we have a God that loved us so much he sent his son to be our savior. I still can't wrap my mind around that enough to comprehend.

This video was on my sweet cousin's wall, and I had to share it. It may seem a little cheesy, but something about it hits so close to home. I was definitely in tears by the end.. But that's probably because it doesn't take a whole lot to make me turn into a blubbering baby. This message is really special though.

I hope you all have had a wonderful and blessed Christmas! Spend time with your loved ones and remember the greatest gift of all.

believe and be satisfied

I can't take credit for this. And i'm not totally positive who the credit is due to originally. I got this from Kelly, but my youth minister's sweet wife has also shared this with me. It's something I think everyone needs to hear, so I'm passing it along.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone --
to have a deep soul-relationship with another,
to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But God, to the Christian, says,
No, not until you are satisfied with loving me alone...
I love you, my child.
And until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,

you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me --
exclusive of anyone or anything else,
exclusive of any longings or desires.
I want you to stop planning,
stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing --
one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to keep watching me, expecting the greatest things,
keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM,

keep learning and listening to the things that I tell you...

you must wait.
Do not be anxious.
Do not worry.
Do not look around at the things that others have gotten or I have given them.
Do not look at things off or away from me, or you will miss what I will show you.
And then, when you are ready,

I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have planned for you is ready...
I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time...
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
and the life I have prepared for you,
you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,
and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection
and love that I offer you myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.

Back to December

So last night we finally decorated our apartment for Christmas, and Morgan looks at the clock and it's about 1:20 am and realizes that means it's OFFICIALLY December! So we hugged and sung Christmas carols.. obviously.

I LOVE December. If I had to pick a favorite month, it would definitely be in the running for number 1. It's just perfect. Here's why:

1. Cold weather. There is nothing better than a really chilly, frosty morning. And cold weather means cold weather clothes! Scarves, mittens, boots, hats, sweaters, coats... I mean, it just doesn't get much cuter than that.

2. Snow. Or the Possibility of Snow. I love snow. LOVE IT. And being born and raised in Houston, I don't get to see it. I had my very first snow day last year, and it was wonderful. But even the anticipation of snow is great. Nosed pressed to the window eagerly watching for the flurries to fall... it's great.

3. Christmas Music. And Decorations. And just all things Christmas. It's no secret that Christmas is by far my favorite time of year. Sorry Thanksgiving, just move on over because Christmas has you beat by a landslide. Christmas music is definitely my favorite. I really hate that whole "no Christmas music until the day after thanksgiving" thing.. so what if I've been listening to it since October? And Christmas Decorations? Ah, perfect. I love downtown Houston during Christmas season because of all of the glorious Christmas lights.

4. HOME. No offense, Abilene. You're great and I love you. But lets get real, I LOVE being home. And starting December 10, I get to be home for 5 WEEKS. Bring on the movie marathons, pedicures, shopping trips to REAL malls, starbucks dates, Panera Bread and all of the wonderful family/friend quality time.

5. It's that time of year when the world falls in love. I just quoted a Christmas carol. Please don't judge. But this time of year is just more magical than any other. And I realize that I sound like a 5-year old saying that, but I don't really care. You hear all the time about how suicides go up a ton around the holidays and it's just really hard. And I get that, the Holidays are difficult for people when loved ones are lost.. But there's still something so beautiful about this time of year. I might just be optimistic, but I think everything seems just a little bit happier this time of year.

So there you have it. My list of why I am absolutely in love with December. Hopefully you have a little bit more appreciation for it, too...

Personal note: just 3 more days of classes, 1 week of finals, and then I'm DONE for the semester!

Baby It's Cold Outside.. well not so much.

Thanksgiving almost didn't happen at our house this year.

Let me back up. Thanksgiving is HUGE deal at our house. When I was born my parents decided that they would have thanksgiving in our own house, and it's been that way ever since I can remember. Big tables with incredible decor, colorful food from end to end, and all kinds of relatives from both sides of the family. Cooking starts early on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until Thursday afternoon. It's a big ordeal. And this year is no exception. Except my parents decided to COMPLETELY remodel the kitchen. When I came home on fall break my kitchen was totally empty. no flooring, no cabinets, nothing. And I came home for Thanksgiving to a completely new, GORGEOUS, kitchen. I wish I had a picture, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet! (If you're friends with my mom on fb, she'll have photo's up at some time!)

But the kitchen wasn't OFFICIALLY finished until Tuesday. Tuesday as in two days before Thanksgiving. And throughout this entire remodeling process all of dishes and everything have been packed away. So Wednesday consisted of a TON of unpacking (and to top it ALL off my mom has a very hurt back!) which put us very far behind on Thanksgiving. And so needless to say there has been a lot of tension and stress in our house trying to get everything done. There was even talk about not doing Thanksgiving at our house (I was NOT pleased about this).. but honestly, it wouldn't matter where we were as long as we were a family. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for the people around you. It doesn't really matter if we have the biggest and best centerpiece or 5 different kinds of pie.. it matters about being grateful for the blessings in our lives. And that's a reality check I really needed.

I'm so blessed. I've got AMAZING friends, the BEST family I could ask for, a GREAT education, a (very newly remodeled) roof over my head, and a God that loves me unconditionally and has blessed me with so much more.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I'm off to go spend some quality Christmas-movie watching time with my family.. Or maybe the Taylor Swift concert special :)

Yearning for You to say Go

About 6 weeks ago I got some news that I did NOT love. For pretty much my entire life I've wanted to be a Kojie at ACU (for you non ACU people, it's a social club at ACU, which is like a sorority at a state school). My mom was one, and it was just what I was supposed to do. Well, as much as I wanted to be a Kojie, they didn't want me. And six weeks ago I had a lot of stuff I wanted to write to express how I felt. I was hurt and upset and confused and angry. But I didn't. The past six weeks have been an incredible learning experience for me. And most importantly it's been a growing experience for me- a chance to grow my relationship with God. I've come to realize that my relationship with God is what's absolutely most important in this world, and a social club would have just distracted from that for me. I'm not saying social clubs are horrible- because I have dear sweet friends in club and love them all. But in this season of my life, club was not what I needed. Am I still hurt about it? yes. absolutely. But I've definitely grown in my relationship with God because of not being in club.

One thing that helped so incredibly much was the song Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz. I am IN LOVE with this song. And I can thank my sweet best friend Kelly for introducing it to me. So I want to leave you with the lyrics.. they're wonderful and great.

Here in this waiting room yearning for You to say go
And though I’m convinced that a yes would be best
This time You’re telling me no

It’s not that I don’t have an answer
It’s just not the one that I’d like
But through this time Lord I must keep in mind
You’re always wiser than I

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

The things that I seek are from You
Like the strong healing touch of your hand
But when You say no help me trust even though
There’s a reason I can’t understand

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

When that miracle comes cause Your answer is yes
I will praise you for all of my days
But when Your wisdom declares that a no what's best
I will praise You just the same

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

You hold this world in your hands

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm glad for this experience to grow with God. I KNOW he is leading me somewhere so awesome I can't even comprehend. I just have to wait and see..

thank you for being a friend

My parents are AMAZING. seriously, you may think your parents are great, but mine are FANTASTIC. They have done so much and gone above and beyond the past few weeks (the past few weeks? really my whole life).

My mom has made countless trips to wal-mart, target, container store, and so many others the past few weeks trying to get me ready for sophomore year. And before all of this shopping began she was the ultimate mom taking care of me during my surgery/recovery. Seriously.. I had to take my pain meds every 4 hours, and she had alarms set all through the night to make sure I got my pain meds right on schedule. And she has just gone beyond out of her way to make sure I've got everything for my dorm and sophomore year set. She's my best friend. She's really shown me what it's like to live for Christ and show Him through her actions.

And my dad has been such a trouper this week. He's got A LOT on his plate with work and other things, and he has still been doing so much for our dorm room. He's built like 40 pieces of furniture and hung all kinds of things all over the place.. and has never complained. Both of them have just been awesome. They definitely put everyone before themselves and it was such an amazing example. I'm so blessed to have them for parents.

On a fun note- our dorm looks SOOO cute. We are still finishing up our decor.. so pictures are coming soon! It's amazing being on our own. We're having our first family dinner tonight, and I'm so excited about it all! ( the pic of me and my mom at the top is in our living room- so there's a sneak peak of the room!)

you're only a day away

Well, tonight marks my last night home before another exciting school year! that's right, clothes are packed, room is cleaned (for the first time all summer), the u-haul is loaded and we leave on that lovely six hour drive to Abilene tomorrow! And I am SO excited for it. Don't get me wrong, this summer has been PERFECT. Seriously, it's been an absolutely amazing summer thanks to Bammel. I have LOVED my job and learned so much. But, I am so truly excited to be backin Abilene. (How sad is it that I'm so thrilled to be moving to a city of barely 100,000 people!?)

I'm really excited about what this semester and year holds. I'm so glad to not be a freshman anymore! This year, I'm living with two of my best friends in the world. They are precious and wonderful and darling and I adore them. And this weekend will be nothing but reuniting with them and decorating our super cute apartment/dorm. I cannot wait. And as nerdy as this sounds, I'm so excited for what my education holds this semester. I'm finally really getting into a lot of my education classes, and I'm just really looking forward to all of it! I'm really hoping to grow my relationship with God this year as well. I think with all of my experiences this summer, my relationship is so much deeper, and hopefully that will only continue throughout the year.

On a completely different note, today is my 9th day since my tonsillectomy! We went to the doctor today for my post-op appointment and everything is looking good! He was very impressed with my progress- Woohoo! Tonsillectomies = no fun. The first week post op wasn't pretty. I didn't respond well to the pain meds at first, so that was a challenge. But things are going smoothly now. I don't think I'll be eating any popsicles or ice cream for a loooong while though, I've had loads of it since last tuesday. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers for me during my surgery and recovery!

bibles, bugs, and blisters, oh my!

cheesy title, i know..

Wow, okay so it's been about 72 years since i updated this thing.. or maybe just a few weeks.. but it seems like a long while! Let me just tell you, things have been moving at the speed of light this summer! I really keep meaning to just sit down and type it all out, but there has barely been a moment to breath, much less reflect on my summer!

Well, just a few hours ago I got home from Camp Ten:10 with SONsational Kids. Man, I LOVE summer camp. I do. It's long and hot and gross, but it is SO much fun also. And I absolutely LOVE SONsational Kids. It's seriously the best job I've ever had. I've learned so much about children's ministry, and it's given me such confidence that I could possible do this for a career one day. I've learned so much about parenting from seeing Brandi and the way she is with her amazing kids. And I've learned SO much just about myself. I've had two of the best co-interns in the whole world. In fact, last night we stayed out til 3 am just talking and bonding because it was our last night of camp. I love Melissa and Will (or grandma and gigantor, as we lovingly call them in the office)- they are so much fun to be around and I've learned so much from them just be being in their presence. I've already teared up a little thinking about leaving all of this behind. Dont get me wrong, I am BEYOND excited to be back in Abilene with my beautiful friends.. but this summer has been amazing. I knew when I first officially agreed to be a children's intern that I would have an awesome summer- but never could I have dreamed it would be this rewarding.

Okay wow, I didn't intend to just ramble on about how blessed I feel by my job. I really intended for this post to be just about camp! So where to begin with camp..

First of all we were at a wonderful location. We were at the Trinity Pines camp facility in the large and bustling town of Trinity, Texas (which I know you alll know where it is). This place was awesome- they had a huge pool, blob, canoeing, putt putt, disc golf, and a ropes course for all of the kids to enjoy in the afternoons. However, since this was camp out in east texas during august, bugs were EVERYWHERE and the sun was excruciatingly hot. And because of that I have come home with about 593 mosquito bites and a blistering sunburn all over my shoulders and chest. so fun. That's really my fault though, I'm way stubborn when it comes to wearing bug spray and sun screen.

But moving on.. I had an AWESOME cabin. I was a co-counselor for a group of fifth grade girls. My other co-counselor was the most amazing lady. I learned SO much about patience and parenting from her this week. She was such a blessing. And my lovely little ladies were so precious.. our team name was the "eleven from heaven" since there was eleven of us.. and they were just the cutest bunch in the world. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better cabin. They didn't stay up all night giggling or being obnoxious, they were sweet and willing to help whenever anyone needed it, and there was rarely any homesickness! Those girls showed me so much about having a servants heart. Seriously, after every meal I had girls who would just go around picking up people's trays. And after I got my horrendous sunburn I had campers always offering to carry my backpack for me. They were completely fabulous.

In the mornings they had rotations of arts and crafts (my favorite), sports, and bible class and in the afternoons they had all of those activities I mentioned earlier. Then at night we had worship and a fun evening game: minute to win it game the first night, ticks and chiggers (my favorite camp game EVER.) the second, and a giant camp wide night swim party the last night!

This morning was definitely the best part of camp. After breakfast they all went over to our main meeting room and there was a big communion spread thing laid out. Before camp, all of the kids were instructed to bring a biblical-times costume. So they put on their costumes and then we did a recreation of the last supper so they could feel like they were a part of it. It was really really special. After communion they were all given a sticky note. On the sticky note they wrote a sin or fault they wanted to leave at the cross, and then they all placed them up on a big cross. And oh my goodness, this was SO emotional. This isn't the first time I've seen a demonstration like this, but this was with 3rd through 6th graders.. that put a whole new spin on things. These were KIDS being so open and honest and just laying their faults and Jesus' feet. I'm a very visual learner- I can still remember in 8th grade going to HEB camp with Bammel and doing an activity very similar and just balling for ever afterwords because I could really grasp what it meant to have Jesus die for my sins. And seeing that again this morning just made me even more emotional. I've always felt like I'm too imperfect. I'm to flawed, and I don't deserve to have Jesus forgive me. It's completely not fair that someone SO perfect had to die because of all of my imperfections. Which, by the way was our camp theme- "No Fair, No Foul" Our main verse was John 16:33, one of my absolute FAVORITES. And after they put all of their sins on the cross (and Melissa, Brandi and I are just balling watching it all) we have just an awesome worship session. Seriously, there is nothing more moving or uplifting then hearing and witnessing kids just praising their maker and creator. I think kids voices are just so pure and honest, and hearing that sung to God was just so inspiring.

So, all in all it was an AWESOME week of camp. Tomorrow is my last day in the office.. which just makes me want to cry even thinking about it. And, oh get this. I'm getting my tonsils out on Tuesday. WHAT!? i know. Tuesday afternoon I will be tonsil-less. So that's great.. and I leave for Abilene on the 20th. This summer is QUICKLY drawing to a close.

you get what you need

It's 11pm on a saturday night and what am I doing? Well let me tell you what I'm not doing. I'm not stoned, I'm not drunk, and I'm not hooking up with some random guy.

I used to be so proud of that statement. I wore it like a badge of honor, like "yeah, I don't party, and you're a loser because you do" kind of thing. But lately, I've felt the exact opposite. I've felt like I was some sort of outcast because I wasn't doing that sort of thing. I've felt alone.

So much has gone on the past few months where I have felt like the ONLY person not drinking or fooling around. I have felt so stupid and sheltered and embarrassed because I still have morals. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way trying to say that- because I don't party, I'm a better person. I don't believe that at all. I have made my fair share of mistakes- sin is sin in God's eyes. But I have just felt like I'm the only one not partying on a saturday night and then waking up on Sunday morning a putting on the "christian face." Because right now, a whole lot of the people that I look up to and respect when it comes to being a Christian are the ones doing all of the partying. And that's not right. As Christians, we shouldn't have two faces. And I realize that it is not my place to judge, and I'm really trying not to, like i said, I'm definitely not perfect either.. but as Christians aren't we called to a higher standard? aren't we called to follow in Jesus' footsteps?

But I'm not writing this blog to preach about how, as Christians we should strive to live our lives only for God and not the world (though I could go on an on about that, trust me). I have a different point.. and that has to deal with the whole feeling alone thing. See, while I've been dealing with all of this, I haven't had any one to turn to about it. My best friends from college don't live anywhere near close to me, i haven't talked to my best friends from high school in who knows how long, and my very best friend (Kelly- for those of you who dont know) hasnt been in my life much lately- which is the saddest thing in the world. Things have just been SO hectic lately (and I promise a blog update super soon with what all has gone on this summer!) that I haven't been able to talk about this horrible feeling with anyone, which has made me feel even more alone in this.

But tonight was perfect. The Bammel Honduras mission team got in tonight and I so tonight for the first time in a a LONG time Kelly and I got to sit down and have a big heart to heart about everything that's been going on in our lives lately. And once we got passed the whole "oh my goodness what's going on!?" stuff.. we started talking about what's really bothering us- so I brought up how I've felt so alone lately. I told her about how I felt like I was the only person on this planet right now not wanting to have sex or smoke pot. And you know what.. she is going through the exact same thing. And she told me about how she had this same conversation with another good friend of ours. And it hit me right then that I wasn't alone. Yea, I may feel alone or left out sometimes for what I believe, but I'm not. God definitely put Kelly in my life for a reason (I've been saying that for many years though- she's the most incredible best friend in the world.) But right then and there I knew that God put us in this situation so we could deal with it together. God has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it.. His timing and perfection just blows my mind.

And then I realized that (and sorry, this is gonna be cliche) that even if I hadn't had this awesome conversation with Kelly.. I still wouldn't be alone. Because God's never gonna leave me. Even though I may feel rotten and alone and like I'm some horrible person for not wanting to sin, I'm gonna have God behind me. It's just hard to remember that He's there sometimes since I can't physically see Him or feel Him in my life- which is why it's such a blessing to have Kelly and friends like her in my life.

So that's where I am right now.. I'm not saying I feel better about the whole situation, because I don't. But i'm glad to know I'm not completely alone. I'm never alone.

awesome

okay, so it's been about 145678234 years since my last post, and i am SO truly sorry for that! SO SO much has been happening lately- i finished my first year of COLLEGE (which means i finished all of those stressful projects and long nights of studying for finals!), i started (and in one week will be finished!) a summer school class, and most importantly started my incredible job!

In my last blog, I think I left you hanging with some pretty big news- well I was going to write this huge long post about my summer, and i actually started it, but it wasn't great. Maybe i'll go back and finish it someday.. but for now you'll have to settle for this: I have an incredible job for the summer! I'm one of the children's interns at my wonderful home church. I am SO excited about this job, I don't think I have the words to describe it. Today was my first day, and this morning I tweeted (oh yes, I'm on twitter) about being so excited, I compared it to being like a child on Christmas morning- but even that doesn't do justice to how fully pumped I am to see what God has in store for this summer! I could go on about this for a LONG time, trust me.. but for now I'm going to move on to another topic, but dont worry.. there will be plenty of posts this summer updating you on this summer goes!

Okay, so I finished my freshman year of college- that's a big deal! Such a big deal that I want to dedicate an entire post to that.. I want to take time to think and reflect on all the ways I've grown and changed.. So that's being put on the back burner for right now. I promise, it'll come soon enough- but for now I have something else I want I want to chat about..

So there's this book that my wonderful boss showed us today called The Book of Awesome.

I dont know if you've heard of this before, or maybe you've even read it.. but this book got me so excited! This book is pretty much just a compilation of awesome things in day to day life- simple things that could so easily be taken for granted.. but can be so awesome. Little things like the smell of playdoh, seeing 12:34 on a clock, pushing those little buttons on the soft drink lid, or picking dried glue off the lid.. such little things that don't mean much at all- but can bring so much joy at the same time. That's what life is about.. finding joy in the small things. I know we all have off days- trust me i've had my fair share of them.. but those little things that make you smile- even if it's as simple as spending an afternoon with your mom- those are what are important.

This reminds me of my favorite verse- Matthew 6:34.. Dont worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself- each day has enough trouble of it's own. We don't need to worry about what the future holds- it's all in God's hands- and that's the best place for it to be! I dont know about you, but if there is anyone I want controlling my future- it's the big guy upstairs. We shouldn't worry about the small little things- instead we should find joy in them! Why sweat the things that are out of our control- instead take sometime to appreciate the little things that are just.. awesome.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail..

When did Easter become all about stuff?

Don't get me wrong, I adore the colors, and the poofy dresses with white shoes, the fluffy bunnies, and of course the chocolate eggs are fantastic.. but this is a day about our savior being RISEN! And my goodness, that's surely something to celebrate, and celebrate everyday! But where is the relation between Jesus' great news and hunting for Easter eggs? Maybe I'm just missing some big metaphor or something..

fun fact: if you google-image "easter" this is the first image that comes up. that should say something.

Anywho.. I'm not downing Easter in ANY way, please don't think that. Like I said earlier, i really do love Easter (not as much as I love Christmas.. but nothing tops that time of year!) but nonetheless, I love it. I'm just curious as to when it became all about buying easter baskets and dresses.. Shouldn't we be focusing on what an AWESOME story we have to tell the world?? Maybe our culture has just added the gifts and candy to give even more reason to celebrate.. I'm just hoping the true meaning doesn't get lost.

On a lighter note.. I get to be the easter bunny twice this weekend. Ohhh yea (and on this note.. i have a really big blog with some exciting news coming soon.. its just in the process right now.. but i promise- it's coming!)

Do You Realize?

okay.. this has been on my heart a lot lately.. and Morgan's bugging me for a new blog.. so i thought i'd put my thoughts to paper.. or keyboard rather. Bear with me.. it's gonna be long.

It all started with my last blog. Go ahead, scroll down, take a second to remember. I quoted a very meaningful verse from Romans. Well just after I wrote that blog, we studied the book of Romans in my bible class. And wow, I got a whole new look at that verse. Well, not a WHOLE new meaning.. just a deeper meaning I suppose. The verse says: And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so but we also rejoice in our sufferings, for we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. So I always took it to basically mean that we have hope in our Lord.. we're gonna go through some tough times.. but in the end He's never gonna let us down. Well hearing Mike Cope talk about it gave me some more insight. When Paul was writing this, He was writing to a church he'd never even met before. He was writing to them because they were going through so many hardships-- people were being imprisoned and tortured for their faith.. something I cant even comprehend. He followed up with talking about Romans 8:18- I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.I guess I'd always skimmed over this verse (I know, I'm awful.. I've definitely realized how INCREDIBLE that passage is) But the church in Rome was going through such awful things, things we can't even imagine, and Paul was writing this as encouragement.. the sufferings they were going through were so much greater than my pretty stinky day I had earlier. Were do I get off comparing a bad day to the suffering and persecution Paul was writing about?

Oh but that was just the start. I'm telling ya, I really think God has been putting all of these things in my path lately to teach me a lesson. A lesson on selfishness. The reason I compared my sufferings to that in Romans was because I've got such a big head that of course I just saw it from my perspective. But the story continues.

Invisible Children came to ACU. Wow, can I just say that that is SUCH an amazing program and one I definitely want to hear more about. Invisible Children started with a group of students who raised money and went to Uganda to help with the trafficking wars going on there. Oh my goodness.. what a moving night! They showed a video of the people in Uganda. They have so little, and I just felt so guilty watching it. I was sitting there in my buckle jeans and vera bradley bag and sonic cup in hand.. and they were being forced to live in villages of thousands of tiny huts.. it brought tears to my eyes. I'm so privileged and I take it all for granted. And I just wanna walk up to God and ask him: How come I was born into such a great family and country when children like Lillian were born into that? I do not understand it. But that sad thing is, this isn't the first time I've questioned this.. I've been to Honduras for the two previous summers.. and each time I leave feeling the same way. I feel so blessed by what I have, but I realize that those material possessions are meaningless. But it never sticks. And I dont know why.

But maybe it's because all of our material possessions are just as bad? Hear me out.. People like the one's I've witnessed in Honduras are SO truly happy with so little. I've seen children FULL of joy from playing with just old pieces of wood. And yet, we have SO much.. iphones, macbooks, and designer clothes.. but we're still so unhappy. I definitely think there's a lesson to be learned there..

And continuing on that note.. I'm in environmental science and lately we've been talking about material stuff and how it effects the world around us. We had to take an ecological/carbon footprint quiz online.. now let me defend myself a little bit.. I was sure exactly what I was doing (there were a lot of big words involved..) Well according to my quiz, if everyone on earth lived my lifestyle.. we would need 9.18 earths. Woah. Too bad we only have ONE! Now I'm not writing this to say drop everything and go hug a tree... But I am saying that I will definitely be doing a little bit of soul searching on this topic.. and maybe we all should.

One last thing (Remember, I warned you this was gonna be long..) But I cant take credit for this.. All of the credit goes to Becca Clay. She wrote a note the other day about how our silly little THINGS get in the way of so much- especially our relationship with God. Go read it. Seriously.. heres the link for it. GO READ IT. Woah. That girl is good. I can definitely say I'm guilty of this. I dont know about you, but I have been really distracted in my relationship with God lately. I dont know that technology is the sole reason for that.. but I know it's a huge part of it. So i'll definitely be taking becca's advice and just unplug for a while.

Another thing I'm really struggling with lately? spending money. Gosh I just bought a vera bradley bag online because it was "on sale." And I spend almost $200 on my roomate's birthday gift. And that's just this week. But that's coming to an end. No more careless spending. Not when these things are only temporary.. Matthew 6:19-21.

I definitely think I'll be looking at my life a little bit differently. Hope you do, too.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Did you ever read that book as a kid? Well that's the kind of day I'm having. I'm not trying to complain, really I do have a point. But first.. let me just tell you about my day.

First of all, I'm exhausted. I went home this weekend, which was wonderful and way to short. I got back to campus (unhappily) late last night and I just have not caught up on sleep. So that already put me in a grumpy mood. On top of that, I'm sick. I hate hate hate being sick. I'm groggy and stuffy and I'm losing my voice and my ears are all poppy and it's just stinky. And I have a paper due at 8 in the morning that I'm not happy with. I wrote the paper, but it's definitely not my best work, and I'm so sad about that.. but I just could not figure out a way to make my paper passionate. I had sing song krewe tonight. And every night this week. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sing song.. I think it's wonderful and I am so fully pumped for this weekend.. it's just the hours and hours or practice that are annoying. Especially when I'm only an usher. I'm in one dance.. I'm not that important. I don't need to be at practice for hours on end. And I ripped a contact while I was washing my face tonight. And I tripped going up (yes, I said up) the stairs to my room. And my roomate, who i love, is currently snoring (sorry jess.. its just a current annoyance on my mind) And I took my nose ring out last Friday (did I mention I got my nose pierced?) which really should be the least of my worries since it's over and done with, but it's still on my mind. And on top of all of this, the stress of career/major decisions always in the back of my mind. And I need a job. And I need a summer job (any ideas??) And I'm sitting in my room, to the point where I'm about to just cry, and I decide to open my sweet little Bible for some Jesus time. And this is what I read:

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so but we also rejoice in our sufferings, for we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:2-5

Oh, how I love that verse! It's amazing how God will speak to you through His word in times of need. That verse is such a reminder that, yes, bad things are going to happen. But by persevering we have hope in life with Him!

So after reading that, I turn to my favorite book in the Bible (is it okay to play favorites when it comes to Bible books? ..hope so) which is Philippians, and my favorite chapter of my favorite book.. Philippians 4. Oh there's such good stuff in this book. Such encouragement... "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Sweet Becca Clay quoted that verse to me last week and it completely made my day... Such a reminder that God's gonna help me through everything.. I've mentioned before how I tend to stress out a little to easily.. but God's going to help me through it.

what a great way to end my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.. :)

sometimes your dreams just aren't what life has planned..

so.. it's been a while since i've updated. I feel horrible about that. I just really dont have much to say.. i've been keeping a private journal alot also, thanks to my sweet cousin Melanie.

I haven't really had much to say either.. Nothing much has happened.. nothing to write about at least. Nothing to bad, nothing to exciting. My life is just kind of bland right now. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but not a good thing either..

Kelly had her senior presentation last weekend.. she looked beautiful, of course. It was really great to be back in Houston and see her in her element.

so anyway, school is going well. Hopefully this semester won't be so stressful, but I'm sure I'll find someway to stress myself out over something. I need to work on that..

I joined a gym today! I'm proud of myself, and I'm definitely going to take initiative and stick with it :)

I'm spending a wonderful evening with three of the sweetest girls i know, morgan, kaci, and my precious roomate.

the new lady antebellum cd comes out in a couple days.. i'm reeeeeeally excited :) hence the title of this post.. :)

i want to be back in honduras. oh i miss that place so much..

I'm sorry this is such a total pointless blog. For real, I have nothing inspirational to say. My relationship with God isn't at its best, so that's probably why I haven't felt like myself lately..

Hopefully the next post will be more worthwhile to read... :)