believe and be satisfied

I can't take credit for this. And i'm not totally positive who the credit is due to originally. I got this from Kelly, but my youth minister's sweet wife has also shared this with me. It's something I think everyone needs to hear, so I'm passing it along.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone --
to have a deep soul-relationship with another,
to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But God, to the Christian, says,
No, not until you are satisfied with loving me alone...
I love you, my child.
And until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,

you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me --
exclusive of anyone or anything else,
exclusive of any longings or desires.
I want you to stop planning,
stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing --
one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to keep watching me, expecting the greatest things,
keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM,

keep learning and listening to the things that I tell you...

you must wait.
Do not be anxious.
Do not worry.
Do not look around at the things that others have gotten or I have given them.
Do not look at things off or away from me, or you will miss what I will show you.
And then, when you are ready,

I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have planned for you is ready...
I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time...
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
and the life I have prepared for you,
you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,
and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection
and love that I offer you myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.

Back to December

So last night we finally decorated our apartment for Christmas, and Morgan looks at the clock and it's about 1:20 am and realizes that means it's OFFICIALLY December! So we hugged and sung Christmas carols.. obviously.

I LOVE December. If I had to pick a favorite month, it would definitely be in the running for number 1. It's just perfect. Here's why:

1. Cold weather. There is nothing better than a really chilly, frosty morning. And cold weather means cold weather clothes! Scarves, mittens, boots, hats, sweaters, coats... I mean, it just doesn't get much cuter than that.

2. Snow. Or the Possibility of Snow. I love snow. LOVE IT. And being born and raised in Houston, I don't get to see it. I had my very first snow day last year, and it was wonderful. But even the anticipation of snow is great. Nosed pressed to the window eagerly watching for the flurries to fall... it's great.

3. Christmas Music. And Decorations. And just all things Christmas. It's no secret that Christmas is by far my favorite time of year. Sorry Thanksgiving, just move on over because Christmas has you beat by a landslide. Christmas music is definitely my favorite. I really hate that whole "no Christmas music until the day after thanksgiving" thing.. so what if I've been listening to it since October? And Christmas Decorations? Ah, perfect. I love downtown Houston during Christmas season because of all of the glorious Christmas lights.

4. HOME. No offense, Abilene. You're great and I love you. But lets get real, I LOVE being home. And starting December 10, I get to be home for 5 WEEKS. Bring on the movie marathons, pedicures, shopping trips to REAL malls, starbucks dates, Panera Bread and all of the wonderful family/friend quality time.

5. It's that time of year when the world falls in love. I just quoted a Christmas carol. Please don't judge. But this time of year is just more magical than any other. And I realize that I sound like a 5-year old saying that, but I don't really care. You hear all the time about how suicides go up a ton around the holidays and it's just really hard. And I get that, the Holidays are difficult for people when loved ones are lost.. But there's still something so beautiful about this time of year. I might just be optimistic, but I think everything seems just a little bit happier this time of year.

So there you have it. My list of why I am absolutely in love with December. Hopefully you have a little bit more appreciation for it, too...

Personal note: just 3 more days of classes, 1 week of finals, and then I'm DONE for the semester!

Baby It's Cold Outside.. well not so much.

Thanksgiving almost didn't happen at our house this year.

Let me back up. Thanksgiving is HUGE deal at our house. When I was born my parents decided that they would have thanksgiving in our own house, and it's been that way ever since I can remember. Big tables with incredible decor, colorful food from end to end, and all kinds of relatives from both sides of the family. Cooking starts early on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until Thursday afternoon. It's a big ordeal. And this year is no exception. Except my parents decided to COMPLETELY remodel the kitchen. When I came home on fall break my kitchen was totally empty. no flooring, no cabinets, nothing. And I came home for Thanksgiving to a completely new, GORGEOUS, kitchen. I wish I had a picture, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet! (If you're friends with my mom on fb, she'll have photo's up at some time!)

But the kitchen wasn't OFFICIALLY finished until Tuesday. Tuesday as in two days before Thanksgiving. And throughout this entire remodeling process all of dishes and everything have been packed away. So Wednesday consisted of a TON of unpacking (and to top it ALL off my mom has a very hurt back!) which put us very far behind on Thanksgiving. And so needless to say there has been a lot of tension and stress in our house trying to get everything done. There was even talk about not doing Thanksgiving at our house (I was NOT pleased about this).. but honestly, it wouldn't matter where we were as long as we were a family. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for the people around you. It doesn't really matter if we have the biggest and best centerpiece or 5 different kinds of pie.. it matters about being grateful for the blessings in our lives. And that's a reality check I really needed.

I'm so blessed. I've got AMAZING friends, the BEST family I could ask for, a GREAT education, a (very newly remodeled) roof over my head, and a God that loves me unconditionally and has blessed me with so much more.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I'm off to go spend some quality Christmas-movie watching time with my family.. Or maybe the Taylor Swift concert special :)

Yearning for You to say Go

About 6 weeks ago I got some news that I did NOT love. For pretty much my entire life I've wanted to be a Kojie at ACU (for you non ACU people, it's a social club at ACU, which is like a sorority at a state school). My mom was one, and it was just what I was supposed to do. Well, as much as I wanted to be a Kojie, they didn't want me. And six weeks ago I had a lot of stuff I wanted to write to express how I felt. I was hurt and upset and confused and angry. But I didn't. The past six weeks have been an incredible learning experience for me. And most importantly it's been a growing experience for me- a chance to grow my relationship with God. I've come to realize that my relationship with God is what's absolutely most important in this world, and a social club would have just distracted from that for me. I'm not saying social clubs are horrible- because I have dear sweet friends in club and love them all. But in this season of my life, club was not what I needed. Am I still hurt about it? yes. absolutely. But I've definitely grown in my relationship with God because of not being in club.

One thing that helped so incredibly much was the song Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz. I am IN LOVE with this song. And I can thank my sweet best friend Kelly for introducing it to me. So I want to leave you with the lyrics.. they're wonderful and great.

Here in this waiting room yearning for You to say go
And though I’m convinced that a yes would be best
This time You’re telling me no

It’s not that I don’t have an answer
It’s just not the one that I’d like
But through this time Lord I must keep in mind
You’re always wiser than I

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

The things that I seek are from You
Like the strong healing touch of your hand
But when You say no help me trust even though
There’s a reason I can’t understand

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

When that miracle comes cause Your answer is yes
I will praise you for all of my days
But when Your wisdom declares that a no what's best
I will praise You just the same

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

You hold this world in your hands

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm glad for this experience to grow with God. I KNOW he is leading me somewhere so awesome I can't even comprehend. I just have to wait and see..

thank you for being a friend

My parents are AMAZING. seriously, you may think your parents are great, but mine are FANTASTIC. They have done so much and gone above and beyond the past few weeks (the past few weeks? really my whole life).

My mom has made countless trips to wal-mart, target, container store, and so many others the past few weeks trying to get me ready for sophomore year. And before all of this shopping began she was the ultimate mom taking care of me during my surgery/recovery. Seriously.. I had to take my pain meds every 4 hours, and she had alarms set all through the night to make sure I got my pain meds right on schedule. And she has just gone beyond out of her way to make sure I've got everything for my dorm and sophomore year set. She's my best friend. She's really shown me what it's like to live for Christ and show Him through her actions.

And my dad has been such a trouper this week. He's got A LOT on his plate with work and other things, and he has still been doing so much for our dorm room. He's built like 40 pieces of furniture and hung all kinds of things all over the place.. and has never complained. Both of them have just been awesome. They definitely put everyone before themselves and it was such an amazing example. I'm so blessed to have them for parents.

On a fun note- our dorm looks SOOO cute. We are still finishing up our decor.. so pictures are coming soon! It's amazing being on our own. We're having our first family dinner tonight, and I'm so excited about it all! ( the pic of me and my mom at the top is in our living room- so there's a sneak peak of the room!)

you're only a day away

Well, tonight marks my last night home before another exciting school year! that's right, clothes are packed, room is cleaned (for the first time all summer), the u-haul is loaded and we leave on that lovely six hour drive to Abilene tomorrow! And I am SO excited for it. Don't get me wrong, this summer has been PERFECT. Seriously, it's been an absolutely amazing summer thanks to Bammel. I have LOVED my job and learned so much. But, I am so truly excited to be backin Abilene. (How sad is it that I'm so thrilled to be moving to a city of barely 100,000 people!?)

I'm really excited about what this semester and year holds. I'm so glad to not be a freshman anymore! This year, I'm living with two of my best friends in the world. They are precious and wonderful and darling and I adore them. And this weekend will be nothing but reuniting with them and decorating our super cute apartment/dorm. I cannot wait. And as nerdy as this sounds, I'm so excited for what my education holds this semester. I'm finally really getting into a lot of my education classes, and I'm just really looking forward to all of it! I'm really hoping to grow my relationship with God this year as well. I think with all of my experiences this summer, my relationship is so much deeper, and hopefully that will only continue throughout the year.

On a completely different note, today is my 9th day since my tonsillectomy! We went to the doctor today for my post-op appointment and everything is looking good! He was very impressed with my progress- Woohoo! Tonsillectomies = no fun. The first week post op wasn't pretty. I didn't respond well to the pain meds at first, so that was a challenge. But things are going smoothly now. I don't think I'll be eating any popsicles or ice cream for a loooong while though, I've had loads of it since last tuesday. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers for me during my surgery and recovery!

bibles, bugs, and blisters, oh my!

cheesy title, i know..

Wow, okay so it's been about 72 years since i updated this thing.. or maybe just a few weeks.. but it seems like a long while! Let me just tell you, things have been moving at the speed of light this summer! I really keep meaning to just sit down and type it all out, but there has barely been a moment to breath, much less reflect on my summer!

Well, just a few hours ago I got home from Camp Ten:10 with SONsational Kids. Man, I LOVE summer camp. I do. It's long and hot and gross, but it is SO much fun also. And I absolutely LOVE SONsational Kids. It's seriously the best job I've ever had. I've learned so much about children's ministry, and it's given me such confidence that I could possible do this for a career one day. I've learned so much about parenting from seeing Brandi and the way she is with her amazing kids. And I've learned SO much just about myself. I've had two of the best co-interns in the whole world. In fact, last night we stayed out til 3 am just talking and bonding because it was our last night of camp. I love Melissa and Will (or grandma and gigantor, as we lovingly call them in the office)- they are so much fun to be around and I've learned so much from them just be being in their presence. I've already teared up a little thinking about leaving all of this behind. Dont get me wrong, I am BEYOND excited to be back in Abilene with my beautiful friends.. but this summer has been amazing. I knew when I first officially agreed to be a children's intern that I would have an awesome summer- but never could I have dreamed it would be this rewarding.

Okay wow, I didn't intend to just ramble on about how blessed I feel by my job. I really intended for this post to be just about camp! So where to begin with camp..

First of all we were at a wonderful location. We were at the Trinity Pines camp facility in the large and bustling town of Trinity, Texas (which I know you alll know where it is). This place was awesome- they had a huge pool, blob, canoeing, putt putt, disc golf, and a ropes course for all of the kids to enjoy in the afternoons. However, since this was camp out in east texas during august, bugs were EVERYWHERE and the sun was excruciatingly hot. And because of that I have come home with about 593 mosquito bites and a blistering sunburn all over my shoulders and chest. so fun. That's really my fault though, I'm way stubborn when it comes to wearing bug spray and sun screen.

But moving on.. I had an AWESOME cabin. I was a co-counselor for a group of fifth grade girls. My other co-counselor was the most amazing lady. I learned SO much about patience and parenting from her this week. She was such a blessing. And my lovely little ladies were so precious.. our team name was the "eleven from heaven" since there was eleven of us.. and they were just the cutest bunch in the world. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better cabin. They didn't stay up all night giggling or being obnoxious, they were sweet and willing to help whenever anyone needed it, and there was rarely any homesickness! Those girls showed me so much about having a servants heart. Seriously, after every meal I had girls who would just go around picking up people's trays. And after I got my horrendous sunburn I had campers always offering to carry my backpack for me. They were completely fabulous.

In the mornings they had rotations of arts and crafts (my favorite), sports, and bible class and in the afternoons they had all of those activities I mentioned earlier. Then at night we had worship and a fun evening game: minute to win it game the first night, ticks and chiggers (my favorite camp game EVER.) the second, and a giant camp wide night swim party the last night!

This morning was definitely the best part of camp. After breakfast they all went over to our main meeting room and there was a big communion spread thing laid out. Before camp, all of the kids were instructed to bring a biblical-times costume. So they put on their costumes and then we did a recreation of the last supper so they could feel like they were a part of it. It was really really special. After communion they were all given a sticky note. On the sticky note they wrote a sin or fault they wanted to leave at the cross, and then they all placed them up on a big cross. And oh my goodness, this was SO emotional. This isn't the first time I've seen a demonstration like this, but this was with 3rd through 6th graders.. that put a whole new spin on things. These were KIDS being so open and honest and just laying their faults and Jesus' feet. I'm a very visual learner- I can still remember in 8th grade going to HEB camp with Bammel and doing an activity very similar and just balling for ever afterwords because I could really grasp what it meant to have Jesus die for my sins. And seeing that again this morning just made me even more emotional. I've always felt like I'm too imperfect. I'm to flawed, and I don't deserve to have Jesus forgive me. It's completely not fair that someone SO perfect had to die because of all of my imperfections. Which, by the way was our camp theme- "No Fair, No Foul" Our main verse was John 16:33, one of my absolute FAVORITES. And after they put all of their sins on the cross (and Melissa, Brandi and I are just balling watching it all) we have just an awesome worship session. Seriously, there is nothing more moving or uplifting then hearing and witnessing kids just praising their maker and creator. I think kids voices are just so pure and honest, and hearing that sung to God was just so inspiring.

So, all in all it was an AWESOME week of camp. Tomorrow is my last day in the office.. which just makes me want to cry even thinking about it. And, oh get this. I'm getting my tonsils out on Tuesday. WHAT!? i know. Tuesday afternoon I will be tonsil-less. So that's great.. and I leave for Abilene on the 20th. This summer is QUICKLY drawing to a close.