Yearning for You to say Go

About 6 weeks ago I got some news that I did NOT love. For pretty much my entire life I've wanted to be a Kojie at ACU (for you non ACU people, it's a social club at ACU, which is like a sorority at a state school). My mom was one, and it was just what I was supposed to do. Well, as much as I wanted to be a Kojie, they didn't want me. And six weeks ago I had a lot of stuff I wanted to write to express how I felt. I was hurt and upset and confused and angry. But I didn't. The past six weeks have been an incredible learning experience for me. And most importantly it's been a growing experience for me- a chance to grow my relationship with God. I've come to realize that my relationship with God is what's absolutely most important in this world, and a social club would have just distracted from that for me. I'm not saying social clubs are horrible- because I have dear sweet friends in club and love them all. But in this season of my life, club was not what I needed. Am I still hurt about it? yes. absolutely. But I've definitely grown in my relationship with God because of not being in club.

One thing that helped so incredibly much was the song Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz. I am IN LOVE with this song. And I can thank my sweet best friend Kelly for introducing it to me. So I want to leave you with the lyrics.. they're wonderful and great.

Here in this waiting room yearning for You to say go
And though I’m convinced that a yes would be best
This time You’re telling me no

It’s not that I don’t have an answer
It’s just not the one that I’d like
But through this time Lord I must keep in mind
You’re always wiser than I

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

The things that I seek are from You
Like the strong healing touch of your hand
But when You say no help me trust even though
There’s a reason I can’t understand

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

When that miracle comes cause Your answer is yes
I will praise you for all of my days
But when Your wisdom declares that a no what's best
I will praise You just the same

You have a much better purpose
And You have a far greater plan
And You have a bigger perspective
Cause You hold this world in your hands

You hold this world in your hands

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm glad for this experience to grow with God. I KNOW he is leading me somewhere so awesome I can't even comprehend. I just have to wait and see..