Do you remember me? I sat upon you're knee.. I wrote to you with childhood fantasies..

so last night, i went out to coffee with one of my closest friends. i kinda love/hate going to get coffee with him. I love it because he always helps me learn things about myself, i hate it because i always learn things about myself that are really hard to learn.. and tonight wasn't unlike any other night. i learned yet another hard lesson. tonight, my dear friend (who by the way is AMAZING for putting up with my horribly stubborn self) helped me learn that i need to grow up.

it's that simple. i need to grow up.

seriously. if i want God to do something, or anything, incredible in my life, i need to mature and grow up and accept that. I need to accept the fact that life is moving forward everyday.

among my group of friends in high school i was always made fun of for being the "emotional one" aka.. the one who cries to much. especially senior year. i cried ALOT. but that was because i didn't want to see it come to an end. I had the PERFECT senior year, and i knew that it would soon end, and i would be shoved into the "real world" of college and careers. and thats SCARY. but I'm in that "new world," and its wonderful. College has been INCREDIBLE so far. I have a 4.0, wonderful friends, and a lot going for me. i don't know what I was so scared of.. but i braved it, and made it through my first semester of college! and i think that God has done some great stuff so far.. but He could do soo more!

So, that's it. I just need to allow myself to grow up. And I've done a lot of growing up the past semester. But there's a lot more I need to do. And I think that growing up includes getting rid of some friendships, and baggage from those friendships, in order to grow even more. that's a really hard pill to swallow.

I also and talked with Matt Atnip last week when I got home. He's another person that's kind of amazing for always putting up with me. We have these little sessions where he "fixes my life" or whatever is going on at the moment. Usually it revolves around how stressed I am about stupid and silly stuff. I've been stressing a lot about my major and whether or not to change it. But he helped me realize that I'm stressing so much about it, and there isn't a whole lot I can do about it right now. And it's getting to a point where it's controlling what I do. And I really don't need to be dealing with that, especially during vacation. He helped me realize I seriously need to just let go of all of it, and let God take care of it in His own time- yet another lesson that's pretty tough to learn.

so.. that's what I'm working on right now: growing up and letting God fully take control of my life and whatever he wants to do with it. That's tough.

im currently listening to Grown-up Christmas List, sung by the Klein High School Chamber Choir :) hence the title of this post..

On a lighter note, it's almost christmas! I really really really love christmas. I wish i could add pictures of what's been going on lately.. but i left my usb cord in abilene..